


A Chunk of Potato

by PaintmeSilver



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Genderbending, I REGRET NOTHING, I had too much caffine, Multi, This is insanity, You'll have to wait and see who
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 18:36:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1438600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaintmeSilver/pseuds/PaintmeSilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is a well known fact that Dean Winchester will sleep with just about anything walking on two legs and wearing a skirt. He's mr. love'm and leave'm himself. Throw a fed up goddess of love into the mix and  well you get a miss guided "Object Lesson." Sam and Dean are in for a bumpy ride as they try to navigate through the coming apocalypse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Object Lesson

**Author's Note:**

> This is your fair warning, this is CRACK. I love Supernatural, Sam and Dean are just so much fun to play with. If I say much more I will give stuff away and I don't want to ruin anything for you. I hope you guys enjoy. Oh, btws this story starts after episode 20 of season 4 but before episode 21.

It started with a chunk of potato in the soup. Well no that’s not quite where it started. In fact that potato chunk does play a huge role in the altering of reality’s fabric. It really started with Dean Winchester being a womanizing ass.  


Now if anyone knows Dean then they know that he being a womanizer is just par for the course. He has all the usual lines that most players use, but any woman that he’s been with can tell you that they are all lies. Poisonous sweet lies that are all too easy to believe. Because no he doesn’t love you; yes he will leave you; no you don’t mean that much to him, and no he won’t really call you. No matter how sincere he might sound it’s not going to happen.  


Any woman that has been loved and left by Dean Winchester could tell you all about him, but it’s not really his fault he learned everything from his daddy. Unfortunately for all parties involved women don’t often listen to each other on these matters. Venus, the Roman Goddess of Love, was tired of hearing about it. She was tired of the name Dean Winchester, his ways and her worshipers swearing off Love because of him. It was absurd swearing off Love! Why she had never heard such a ridicules thing… ok that was a lie, but really something had to be done about Dean Winchester.  


“I’m telling you it’s bad.” Venus dug her hands into her impossible blonde hair. “I need your help Diana, Minerva, please. You both have experience in setting men to rights.” Minerva sighed and put down her gossip magazine and shared a look with Diana who was filing her nails.  


“We could give him an Object Lesson.” Minerva said blandly, watching Venus pace and stomp her feet in the bright Miami sun. The three of them sat poolside.  


“Turn him into a woman for a while see how he likes being objectified.” Diana suggested an unholy gleam in her eyes.  


“I like it.” Minerva nodded.  


“Works for me.” Venus nodded “I just don’t want it reversed easily. They always squirrel their way out of things.”  


“With the three of us working on this it won’t be.” Minerva interrupted Venus’s rant she wanted to get back to her magazine, the faster they did this the faster she could. That she didn’t like the look in Diana’s eyes, it was that weird homicidal look that she got sometimes.  


“Ok so what do we need to do?” Venus bounced on the balls of her feet “A potion, a spell with an amulet, human sacrifice?”  


“What are you a cinema goddess?” Diana sneered  


“Nothing quite like that.” Minerva cut in. “Concentrate on your goal; we will try not to interfere and just feed our power into your will.”  


“Right.” The pout disappearing, Minerva worried a little, this could turn into something bad with how easily her moods changed.  


Minerva and Diana stood in front of Venus. The three goddesses took each other by the shoulders, in a circle they swayed and spun channeling their power up. From the outside one has to imagine what the cabana boys were thinking of this. Their eyes glowed behind their eyelids. Out of their mouths bright pink mist seeped, it floated up mixing together and soaring off through the sky.  


...  


“You’re pissed.” Dean’s rough voice cut across the interior of the Impala.  


“I’m fine.” Sam said tightly his bitch face telling his brother a different story. “But it’s obvious that you did something to that attendant at the motel.”  


“I did something?” Dean sat up from his reclined position, for the moment the troubles on their minds drifting away as they squabbled happily.  


“Uh yeah.” Sam smirked “She obviously had a ‘why didn’t you call me’ vibe going on.”  


Dean cleared his throat; setting his jaw defiantly he looked out the window.  


“I may have slept with her.” Sam sighed  


“Could you be a bigger man whore?”  


“Shut up, bitch.”  


“Whatever, Jerk.” Sam smiled as he settled down ready for a sore neck in the morning; knowing deep down that they would get past this thing with the apocalypse and the demon blood.  


“Stop thinking and go to sleep, Sammy.” Dean grumbled, Sam let his eyes droop shut.  


It was well past midnight when a certain bright pink mist circled Dean’s baby. It seeped in through every crevice that it could find, and seeped into the sleeping boys’ mouths with every inhale.


	2. In which Dean needs a reality check and then a prozac

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins. I know I'm evil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just remember men hormones turning into woman hormones.

Dean’s eyes shot open when someone screamed, and then punched him in the side. Rocketing up he pulled the knife he always kept handy. Next to him where Sammy should have been was a brunette wearing Sammy’s clothes, freaking out. Staring in the mirror, pulling at her hair, pinching her face, quickly building up to a panic attack; the girl swung around ready to grab him. She froze mid move. Her hand shot out pulled him forward and jerked his head.  
  
“What the H--” He trailed off staring into the rearview mirror. In the back of his mind he noticed that his voice was too high. What? “Sammy?”  
  
“Yeah.” He looked back at his brother…sister?...maybe brother… sister.  
  
“Are we women?”  
  
“Yeah, I think we are.” Sam said her voice wavering. “Dean I don’t like it.” Dean didn’t say anything right away. Shaking hands ran through dirty blonde hair a hysterical giggle.  
  
“What could possibly be funny at a time like this?” Sammy was starting to sound shrill, pushing her hair out of her face.  
  
“You still have great hair.” Dean bit out through his laughter.  
  
“Not the time for jokes, Dean.” Sam grit out “We need to figure out what were gonna do.” She buried her hands into her hair.  
  
“Now don’t panic.” Dean said taking a deep breath “Panicking is the worst thing we can do right now.”  
  
“You know for being turned into a woman you’re incredibly cavalier about this whole situation.” Sam snapped glaring at her, brother? Sister? Brother. Sister. Sister?  
  
“This is all just a bad dream. I’m gonna wake up and things will be back to the way they were.” Dean nodded sagely  
  
“And if it’s not a dream?” Sam raised her eyebrows at her…his?  
  
“What are you getting at?” Sam sighed even as a woman Dean could pull off that confused puppy look.  
  
“Its. Not. A. Dream!” Sam said slowly and deliberately.  
  
“Of course it is. It has to be a dream. Why else would we turn into women? That’s ridicules.” A slightly hysterical note entered Dean’s voice. Sam twitched at his…her PRONOUNS!!!!! OK they’re stuck in women’s bodies for the time being, pronouns will fallow accordingly. There she had made up her mind. Now back to the dilemma at hand. Sam twitched at her sisters stubborn denial of what was happening.  
  
“Fine it’s a dream.” Sam said throwing bitch face number 12 (it’s not a dream you idiot) on to her face. “Can we just get out of here Bobby’s waiting for us.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah keep your shirt on little brother.” Sam sighed again apparently she was also denying the reality of what was right in front of her face. It doesn’t matter Sam mentally told herself Bobby will have some idea of what to do. We just have to get there without any major break downs.  
Famous. Last. Words.

\------------------------------------------------------------

They had been driving for a few hours, Sam had dug out snacks from the cooler for them to munch on in place of a real breakfast. Dean still hadn’t embraced reality, stubbornly convinced that this was all some crazy dream and that he would wake up at any time.  
  
“You know what we need?” Dean finally spoke, turning down the music a little.  
  
“A major dose of reality?” Sam sweetly supplied. She wasn’t too sure if Dean just didn’t hear her with the music still at high volume or if she was just ignoring her sass.  
  
“Pie. We need Pie.” Dean continued as if Sam never spoke.  
  
“What is it with you and pie?” She demanded rubbing the bridge of her nose. “We don’t need pie Dean we need to get to Bobby’s.”  
  
“It’s my dream and I say we need Pie.”  
  
“Did you just vocally capitalize pie?”  
  
“It’s Pie and it’s a sin if you don’t. Stop being a sinner Sammy, you already got turned into a woman.” Sam stared at her sister, was she high? It wouldn’t be possible Sam had woken her up, when would she have had the time? Maybe the changes were affecting her mind? Could you go crazy from swapping genders? Would she start to go crazy too? So many questions. Sam saw a truck stop diner coming up in the distance.  
  
“Do not stop Dean we need to get to Bobby’s.”  
  
“Stop whining Samantha. We need Pie.” Dean pulled baby into an empty parking space.  
  
“Dean I am wearing clothes that are too big for me I don’t want to go in there.”  
  
“Too bad, should have thought of that before you got turned into a woman.” She hopped out of the car. This would not end well. This would not end well at all. Sam reluctantly fallowed wondering if she should try and get in touch with Cas even though he was probably still mad at them. She really did not want to go inside, this wasn’t some nice rustic small town diner, this was more like a dive bar that served breakfast.  


It was awkward and tense, at least from Sam’s perspective. They sat in a booth as Dean ate pie and Sam sipped her coffee, figuring that she would need the extra boost from the caffeine. Idly she wondered how they had gotten to this point, how had things spiraled this far away from them? The Apocalypse was on the verge of existence, their one angle ally was mad at them, and here they were in a crappy diner being eyed up by creepy over weight old truckers. It was almost like some sick author was playing with their lives.  


  
“Dean, stop eating like a cave man you’re getting crumbs everywhere.” Sam grumbled over her coffee cup giving her sister bitch look number 2 (You eat like a pig) not to be confused with bitch look number 14 (you are a pig).

“You’re just grumpy cause you didn’t get Pie.” Dean said around her pie.

“Just finish so we can leave.”

“You girls in a hurry?” Sam froze, this was not happening, and looked up at the one creepy old trucker that had picked up the courage to come over and talk to them.

“Yeah” Sam prayed that he would just turn around “Our Uncle is waiting for us.”

“I wouldn’t mind being your Uncle if the price is right.” He leered at them, Sam felt sick “Especially you Blondie.” Sam nearly choked; she pulled out her wallet through a twenty on the table and stood up.

“Time to go.” She was glad that she hadn’t lost much of her height as a woman, she glared at the creep with a brand shiny new bitch face, number 45. (Back off creep. We’re not whores.) Sam grabbed her sister’s arm and pulled her out of the diner with a backwards order for the waitress to keep the change.

Dean looked well frozen so, Sam fished the keys out of her pocket and gently put Dean in the passenger seat. She climbed in to the driver’s side and started the car. It wasn’t until they were about twenty miles or so down the road when Dean finally spoke.

“What did he mean by ‘you girls?’” She asked

“Twenty minutes you’ve been frozen and that’s the first thing you say?” Sam didn’t take her eyes off the road.

“This isn’t a dream is it Sam?”

“No Dean it’s not.”

“Oh My God This Isn’t A Dream!” Dean was wailing at this point, Sam just drove on, there was no point in freaking out, unless they found out that they were stuck like this forever or something.

“Are you going to hyperventilate?” Sam asked cautiously. Dean shoved her fist into her mouth and shook her head. “Are you crying?” Sam demanded looking frantically over at her sister.

“I can’t help it!” Dean cried “I just… I … I need… I want… I think … I feel. GOD I just don’t know.”

“Dean you gotta calm down.”

“Is this what girls feel like all the time?!” Dean all but shrieked “I feel like my stomach is going to jump out of my throat, my brain is going to explode and that if I don’t get chocolate right freaking now I will kill someone.”

“Dean I need you to take a deep breath. There is some chocolate in the glove compartment. I was saving it but you need it more.” Sam glued her eyes back to the road, alarmed that her sister was able to display this kind of breakdown when her male counterpart was perpetually emotionally constipated. As strange as it seemed Dean in girl form was apparently one of those blessed creatures that could go from 0 to 60 in less than five seconds. Great.

Sam looked back over at Dean, she was currently chewing on a heresy’s dark chocolate bar, an occasional shudder wracking her shoulders. Over all she looked like she was calming down. Oh look just in time to get to Bobby’s too. Well this would be fun, and by fun she meant hell. Sam parked the car in their usual spot. Taking a deep breath she opened the door and got out, making sure her clothes weren’t going to fall off. She looked back at the car half way to the house. Dean hadn’t moved.

“Dean get out of the car.” She shouted at her sister.

“NO. I can’t let anyone else see me like this.” She still sounded hysterical.

“Dean it’s just Bobby, get out of the car.” When had she turned into the older sibling? Was she really the older sibling because sometimes it seemed that way.

“He’s gonna yell at us. I don’t think I can handle that right now.” Sam shook her head dazed.

“What?! Sense when have you ever cared about Bobby yelling at us?” Sam was yelling at this point.

“I am going through a crisis right now.” Dean yelled back finally getting out of the car, slamming the door behind her. “You know I don’t care for your attitude about this whole thing Sammy. You and your fantastic hair should be freaking out as much as I am right now.”

“Dean there’s no point in freaking out unless there’s no way to reverse whatever this is.” Sam through her arms up into the air in exasperation. The sisters glared at each other for a moment.

“Well excuse me for being emotional at the moment.” Dean huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“What the hell did you two idjits get mixed up in this time?” Bobbys’ gruff voice rang out from the front porch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Potato comes in next chapter. Hope you enjoyed.


	3. We have come to the chunk of potato...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An irritated cosmic entity has decided to take matters into his own boney hands and change the fabric of reality. Not that the fabric of reality ever really mattered to the author in the first place.

So now dear readers we come to the pivotal potato in the soup. 

No really there is a chunk of potato and it is in soup. Now I am sure that at this point you’re reading this questioning the sanity of the writer. But have no fear the writer is only slightly insane and she does have a point. This, dear readers, is not just any chunk of potato, oh no, this chunk of potato is one giant fuck you to fate _and_ destiny. And it is provided straight from the boney hands of an increasingly irritated cosmic entity.

Now there is a very good reason why your parents told you to chew your food and not talk with your mouths full. Besides being horribly bad manners and downright disgusting, it’s so you don’t choke. Of course even with these precautions in place the worst can still happen. Like, oh say the cat jumping into your lap. Perhaps you didn’t even know you had a cat. It could be the neighbor’s cat but what in the world would the neighbor’s cat be doing in the house in the first place? I digress. 

This strange act of random choking is exactly what happened to Chuck, exactly two days after the Winchester brothers became sisters. The cat, that we are not even sure belongs to Chuck, decided to attack his lap at the exact moment he was eating his favorite chunky potato soup. The strangely large cosmic potato chunk was then lodged directly into his esophagus. And he died. There was writhing and flailing and an unsuccessful attempt of a solo Heimlich maneuver, but still he died. 

\---  
Death all but cackled with glee, the irritated cosmic entity. This stupid game would end and he wouldn’t end up being the butt monkey of a toddler with a temper problem. It was finally going to end, Death and God (or Chuck as he was going by now) where going to have it out. Now all he had to do was wait for Chuck to WAKE UP. Chuck’s eyes snapped opened and he spat out the chunk of potato. 

“Well that was highly unpleasant.” Chuck groused rubbing his head. 

“Hello brother.” Chuck smiled at Death. 

“How have you been Death?”

“Busy brother, I really don’t have a lot of time for chit chat so I will get right down to it. I need you to clean up your mess. Your children are running amuck trying to bring about the apocalypse. It needs to stop.” Chuck grimaced the deity ran a hand through his hair. 

“I have been thinking about what to do about Lucifer.” He admitted nodding in agreement.

“Have you thought about just forgiving him?” 

“But he hasn’t learned anything.” Chuck complained “If he hasn’t learned anything then he’ll just do it again. Do you have any idea how irritating and long cosmic wars can be?” 

“So set him with an object lesson.” Death shrugged “And while you’re at it give one to Michael as well. He’s been stirring up just as much trouble as his big brother.” 

“An object lesson? That does have possibilities.” 

“Oh yes. These lessons have been flying around lately, you see. The Winchester brothers are now sisters.” A huge smile stretched across his face.

“You’re joking?” Chucks eyes lit up at the possibilities, gossip was just so much better when you heard it from someone else instead of just knowing everything.

“I’m not. The older, Dean pissed of Venus and so she with Diana and Minerva turned them into women. I hear it has been quite amusing to watch.” 

“I always did wonder what they would be like as women.” Chuck nodded 

“You aren’t going to change them back?”

“Not important.” Chuck stood dismissing the idea of changing them back out right. Pacing as he thought. “Any ideas on what to do about Mich and Lu?”

“I imagine that being trapped in a human body would be most unpleasant for both of them.” Death suggested a gleam of sadism in his eye. 

“I like it. Give them a taste of what they hate most.” Chuck pursed his lips and stared out the window for a moment. “It has to be more than that though. If I just stick them into human bodies then what’s to keep them from running as far away from each other? I want them to work through their differences. I also would like them not to kill each other.” 

“So give them watchers.”

“I could, but who would be qualified enough to do that?”

“You could throw them to the Winchesters. They seem to be qualified.” Death suggested lightly “Or I suppose you could put one of your fallen Gregori on them.” 

“Why not both, of course most of the Gregori are still sore about that whole banishment and slaughter thing so the boys should still have access to their grace.”

“Yes you don’t want to have to keep re-making them.”

“I’ve got it!” Chuck spun to face Death who kept his face carefully blank; it was so much fun to trick his brother into doing his will. “I give Luc and Mike bodies that can withstand their Grace. Then I bind each of them to one of the Winchesters allowing their Grace to work only when they are in dire need or as they learn their lessons. Then I assign the one Gregori least likely to vaporize any of them as a watcher.” Oh Death was going to get hours of entertainment from this. Perhaps he should invest in a popcorn maker?

“Which one is that?”

“Penemue.” Death bit down hard on his tongue. It was too perfect. 

“You know the sisters will probably want something in return for doing this.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know they have lost so much in their lives. I am just warning you.” 

“I’m sure I can come up with something.” Chuck waved his hand “In the meantime. Penemue come to me.” 

There wasn't a flash or a puff of smoke. Just one moment empty air and the next, a petit woman. Stylishly dressed in a white sundress, cute sandals, and a little dog in a bag tucked under her arm. She chatted rapidly into a cell phone a few shopping bags on her arm. 

“…I know you have no idea how much this whole ‘end of the world’ thing ruins my spa plans…” She paused “Gabe honey, I gotta call you back… No I think I was summoned.” The petit young woman turned, long dark hair brushing her lower back. “Daddy? … No, Gabe, Not you.” she hit the end button on her bedazzled pink phone and put her manicured hand on her hip. “Well this is unexpected.” 

“Penny honey I have something that I need you to do for me.” Chuck smiled widely at her. “If you do this for me I will give you whatever you want most in the cosmos.”

“I’m listening.” 

“Well it has to do with your brothers.” 

“I’m in.” Penny grinned.

“I didn’t tell you which ones.”

“Does it involve Michael and/or Lucifer?”

“Yes.”

“I’m in.” 

“Pull up a seat my dear.” Death motioned to the chair across from them, whisking a round of frappachinos into existence. “And we will fill you in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So its been more than a year, I'm not going to bother apologizing because I know each and every one of you has misplaced a muse at some point in your writing career. Don't deny it.  
> Good new the muse came back.  
> Bad new it has seemed to have lost the plot.
> 
> This means additions will be as they strike me and will be whatever situation tickles my fancy. Who knows plot may develop out of this.


	4. Penny lays it down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to some semblance of a plot.... Lets watch.

A month had passed, oh what a month it was. There were tears, screaming denials, and dramatics that only those of the Winchester breed seemed to be able to pull off. But finally things seemed to be calming down. That is until the joy of every woman struck, and just to prove that there is a God (and his name is Chuck) out there it hit Sammy first.

It started with a low ache in the stomach area, an area that Sammy was slowly bringing herself to think about. She was still wrapping her mind around being a woman but an inborn stubbornness had reared its head after the first week about what was her body forever now. Dean on the other hand still had violent moments of denial where they couldn’t look in the mirror without breaking down.  


The ache was still there, rubbing her lower stomach over her shirt she got up to see if Bobby had any pain pills. Bobby, now there was their savior. He had taken everything in stride, he had gone out and bought them new well everything. Clothes, shoes, care products…Bobby was the best.  


“What’s wrong Sam?”  


“I have this pain in my stomach.” Bobby looked up from the cook book he was skimming through.  


“Like I ate something wrong or dull ache that sometimes gets worse.”  


“Like dull ache that sometimes gets worse, how did you know?”  


“Please tell me you were in one school long enough for your sex-ed classes.”  


“Yeah.”  


“Please tell me you have a basic understanding of the female reproductive system.”  


“I have had sex before Bobby, I do …oh.” Sammy flashed back to Jess. Month after month his girlfriend laying on the couch with a heating pad or restocking tampons. “Wow I didn’t expect the spell to be that complete.”  


“You weren’t? We concluded that there was no spell to turn you back why shouldn’t the plumbing be all there?” Bobby shrugged “Good thing I prepared. I got you girls the kind with wings and also tampons. The lady at the store was helpful.” He pulled the supplies out from under the kitchen sink and set them on the table sitting down as he did so.  


“I don’t really know what to do with them.”  


“Read the dang package or do a Google search. Do Not explain it to me after.”  


“Yes that is a good idea. Sorry Bobby this is all just a little much.”  


“You gonna be ok? You look a little pale.”  


“Just shock. At the moment I am more concerned about what will happen when Dean gets-” Her words were immediately cut off by a high pitched scream. “Damn”  


“Is there any hope that it is just Cass forgetting about personal space?” Bobby let his head hit the table.  


“Not with that reaction. Besides we haven’t seen Cass sense Jimmy died.”  


“Right.” Thunderous footsteps stampeded down the stairs. “Jesus it sounds like a heard of elephants. How can one person make that much noise?”  


“It’s Dean.” Before Bobby could respond Dean slammed the kitchen door open. Out of breath and panicked.  


“I’m bleeding from the area.” Yes Sam may have been the first of the Winchesters to get her period but Dean was steps behind her.  


“Me too.”  


“I’m dying.”  


“No you’re really not.”  


“How can you be so calm!!!???” Dean paced nearly shouting.  


“It’s Natural.”  


“There is nothing natural about this Sammy.”  


“Look Dean I get that you are freaked out by this but I don’t feel like a man anymore. Even the pronouns sound wrong to me. Whatever the spell was, was very thorough with me. I understand if you feel like a man trapped in a woman’s body-”  


“But I don’t Sammy! Don’t you get it everything is suddenly different. I don’t feel like I am settling but I don’t feel like a man. I feel squished.”  


“Well you were taller as a Man.”  


“That’s what you are taking away from this Sam?”  


“What do you want me to take away from this Dean? This spell whatever it was obviously didn’t just drop two men into women’s bodies, it changed us. Now though we have to deal with natural functions. Bobby thought ahead and bought us supplies.”  


“I still feel squished.” She pouted  


“I did too at first; I think it will go away.” Dean took the box of tampons. “How to they work?” Sammy thought about what Jess had told her a long time ago, when she had been complaining about her own period. At the time Sam had been playing the good boyfriend and had tried to be sympathetic. She understood better now.  


“They go up-”  


“NO!” Bobby yelled sprinting to the door “Not while I’m in the room!”  


“Wow what a baby.” Dean sniffed, it baffled Sam sometimes how one moment Dean could be panicking about something and then the next completely cool about the topic. Her sister, when she decided to adapt did just that.  


“Come on lets go do a quick google search about these things. I don’t want to use it wrong.  


Ten minutes and a google search later both girls were all set. Deans panicky, hair trigger twitch had seemed to go away, a semi giggle would slip out of her mouth every so often. Sam equated it to a spead up version of the grief cycle, Dean was more or less at acceptance. Bobby hadn’t re-emerged from where ever he was hiding.  


“SAMMY!!!” Dean shouted at her grabbing her arms and shaking her hard. She decided right there she wasn’t thinking optimistically ever again.  


“What.” Bitch-face number two firmly in place ‘what do you want now?’  


“We’re in new bodies.”  


“So…” They had gone over this, that’s why it was uncomfortable to put the tampon in. Nothing had been there before.  


“That means we are virgins again.”  


“That’s what you’re focusing on. Out of everything sex?”  


“Why do I even bother to try and be in the same room as you two?” Bobby snapped walking in from where ever he had been hiding.  


“No not sex, although there are so many possibilities now, use your head Sammy. Being a chick is one thing, being a virgin chick is another. It’s a work hazard.”  


“My sister the hunter ladies and gentlemen.” Sam muttered under her breath she hadn’t thought of it that way. Leave it to Dean to. The blood of the pure focused in some pretty powerful mojo. Not to mention the whole slew of monsters whose diets consisted of nothing but virgins. It wasn’t a matter of keeping yourself for marriage, that just wasn’t part of hunter culture. Even for men in the field it was dangerous, may be not to the same degree as women but hay that was more of going after the physically weaker target.  


Even the most lone wolf hunter would step up to help out the children of other hunters. Protected as almost sacrosanct until the age of consent, given a shot gun lesson on safe sex practices and then shoved out of the nest into the arms of the nearest opportunity. It wasn’t just a safety precaution anymore, it was a rite of passage.  


“We have to take care of it.”  


“Once this business had stopped I’m sure it will be resolved quickly. I’m even surer that Cass will step right up if you ask him.”  


“What…Why would…what do you…ask Cass?” Poor girl looked like she was facing a firing squad, and turning redder by the second. “Don’t talk stupid Sammy.” She huffed and stormed off. Sam cackled to herself a little oh yes the blackmail and ammunition. Wandering over to the bookshelf she pulled a title that she had wanted to read for a while but had always been too busy to pursue. Turning back around book in hand, she was intent on planting herself on the couch and reading away the next five or so days.  


Blinking owlishly she was in a booth. Looking around she saw two people on the stage singing their hearts out, apparently it was a Karaoke bar. Dean sat across from her also looking around in mild horror.  


“We were just at Bobby’s right? That wasn’t a hallucination?”  


“No, not a hallucination, how else did we manage everything?” Sam gestured to the air around them.  


Deans cell phone went off and she answered it obviously Bobby on the other end if the swearing was anything to go by. Sam took a closer look at the people on the stage, to her unending horror the male of the pair is the Trickster himself. Swinging a hand behind her she slaps at Dean who in turns tries to fend her off.  


“What? I am talking to Bobby.”  


“Loki’s behind this.” She pointed frantically at the stage. Dean snapped at Bobby that she would call him back and hung up.  


“Oh now ladies I would love to take credit for this little powwow but it’s not my doing. Although if I had known you two would look so scrumptious as women, well let’s just say this would have happened sooner.” Sam nearly jumped three feet in the air, slamming into the table in her bid to get away from the Norse god suddenly behind her.  


“So it was you who did this?!” Dean growled, not nearly as impressive as it had been when her voice had a lower pitch.  


“Dean darling, loving the husky bedroom voice.” Dean drew back a little “But no. Your feminization was not my doing. Feel free to blame that on one seriously pissed off Roman goddess and her two besties.” He stretched out in his seat, summoning a chocolate martini. “You girls want anything, beer?”  


“I have a feeling we are going to need it.” Sam said “What is this about?”  


“Exactly the same thing your lives have been about for the past year. Hell, demons, Lucifer, the impending apocalypse. These things don’t stop because you two chuckle heads suddenly have lady parts.”  


“The Cage.”  


“However the game has changed.” Loki continued on as if Dean hadn’t opened her mouth. “I won’t say luckily for you two, because frankly I wouldn’t wish what’s about to go down on my worst enemy. You two, **_Sam and Dean Winchester have been chosen. You are to take this task from the hand of the almighty himself and become the watchers. Keepers to the task God has set his sons. Until such time that they have proven themselves worthy again.”_** Loki’s voice lost the strange compelling quality.  


“What was that?” Sam whispered her voice broke as she spoke, the words seemed to become part of her being.  


“Word of God. You ok? The first time you hear it, it can be jarring.”  


“What did that all mean?” Dean demanded.  


“Boss man has a job for you. You are requested to comply, those that do often find great happiness in the end.”  


“How can you even speak the word of God? You’re a pagan deity … unless you really aren’t.” Sam narrowed her eyes at him trying to work with the meager clues she had.  


“Guilty.” He sniggered “Gabriel at your service.”  


“As in the Archangel?”  


“Yes.” Dean looked over at her sister who just nodded in acceptance.  


“Can I have a minute with my sister, Please.” Gabriel materialized himself over to the bar. “Just like that you’re ok with this news?” She snarled.  


“Look Dean, all things considered this is not the weirdest thing that has happened to us in the last month. Not much can top vengeful goddesses and a gender reassignment.” She said shrugging helplessly.  


“That’s a wonderful way to look at things ladies.” The woman who had been singing with Lo-Gabriel sat next to Dean. “Nice to meet you two my name is Penemue, you can call me Penny. Think of me as the Calvary.”  


“For what?”  


“For when those three become too much.” She nodded to the bar and the three seated stiffly at it. Or well two were stiff; Gabriel looked like he was having the time of his life tormenting them. One was blonde, with a strong jaw, and a mocking mouth. The other, well the other could have been a relative for all that he looked like a young John Winchester.  


“What?”  


“Watching Lucifer and Michael, the blonde and brunette respectively, and too Gabriel I suppose because he can’t resist tormenting them.” The sisters stared at the woman across form them. “I guess I should start at the beginning. God and Death had a chat recently about what to do with this pesky apocalypse.” Sam and Dean leaned forward listening intently to the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to get a something clearly on the table before we proceed any farther. Although this story is a comedy it is in no way meant to belittle anyone that has or is going through gender transition. You have nothing but my deepest respect.  
> I may one day write a serious piece about the topic (after extensive, extensive research) but this is not that story.
> 
> This story is a series of funny events that happen to the Winchesters after they are turned into women. I am using a deus ex machina, I admit it, this is me saying "Here you go they are now 100 percent women with minimal adjustment time." 
> 
> So please don't expect a lot of angst in this story, things may get serious from time to time but ultimately i just want people to giggle. 
> 
> So I hope you continue to travel with me on this strange journey.  
> -Silver
> 
> Ps. If anyone knows a good Beta let me know.


End file.
